Wow…first off…Merry Christmas. Hope everyone is well and safe and warm and all that good stuff. I knew that these three+ months apart would be hard but damn…tonite was pretty hard to grin and bear through.

Sorry…had to smoke real quick. Anyways, my fam celebrates Christmas on the 24th, then heads to all the inlaws and make all the rounds on the 25th. This year, I thought for sure that me and Tina would be spending our first holidays together. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve…but, if you’re an avid playlister than you obviously know that that’s not the case.

So…of course the past four weeks have sucked. No getting around that. Me and Tina (yes, yes I know…Tina and I) we’ve been trying to do our best to make it through all this crap. Chatting, talking, facebooking, anything to just make this hiatus a little bit more bearable…which would’ve been hard enough for any three month span but a little more painful when it’s smack dab in the middle of the holiday season.

Needless to say, it’s been a hard time for either one of us to get in the full ‘holiday spirit’ with all things considered. Tonight tho’ sorta hit me out of nowhere…at my house we usually eat a late dinner and then pass out gifts and presents at midnight. So…since i’ve been old enough to walk the job of passing out gifts was automatically assigned to myself, my brother and my cousin Michael. My brother’s all posted with his fam and kids so it’s just me and Mike…and Yants helped out too. 

So…as I’m passing out gifts…I dunno…it just hit me all at once. I was chillin’…with my family who I love with all my heart, I mean…they’re my fam…but I felt so lost…so empty…so…alone and it sucked. It took a few minutes to suck it all up and keep on with the passing out of gifts but the whole time…all I could think about was…somewhere out in futurama…2,400 miles to be exact…my other half…my Tina was sitting with her fam…playing 7-card stud and feeling the same exact way. Lost.

It’s hella late now…3:40am to be exact. It’s so late for me that Tina’s prolly getting up in 1/2 an hour to get ready for Cam coming home to see his new X-Box360. I guess I’ll wrap it up with…with how I’m feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I love my fam…but my heart…my soul…my life…isn’t in my arms right now. She isn’t waking up next to me or stalking me in the kitchen while I’m brewing coffee. She’s tucked away in her pj bottoms, my button down shirt, holding a pillow and dreaming hopefully sweet dreams while I’m sapping out in a late night blog entry.

February can’t get here fast enough.

Sade – “By Your Side”